Perception of Time

something has been bothering me alot lately. time. i dont seem to be able to drink in everything at a leisurely pace. i feel like the worlds moving too fast–without me. its been like this for a while now. a week or so. or a month. i dont know. i remember very little, and my days are time stamped by horrible events that i do now want to attend. for example, ive been living between 2 points: PAS (april 19) and ABRSM (may 20). i am living for abrsm. and i remember things by saying, oh that was a week after pas. oh that was 2 weeks before pas. and its effective.

but its sad. i have no goal in life anymore. david used to be my goal, but ive been having super mixed feelings lately. actually, i dont think i can feel much anymore. i doubt im falling into depression (allie brosh has a few pieces about them. she is finally back!!!) because i still have a few bright spots everyday. im really confused and thats not the point.

what im trying to say, is that everyday is a blur. nothing is special anymore. i feel lost and valueless. my life is a dump. its been another week, huh? ive been mentally working of this excerpt for a half week then. sigh. bye bye ūüôā

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jan 15

Image

Yarn Tail Tutorial (Feline) by ~willowfall on deviantART

TUTORIAL Yarn Tail by ~luthien368 on deviantART

there. no hate. 

today is somewhat special to me~ one of the few time honeybunches and i had an all night chat. literally. from like fucking 10 pm to 4 am. it was…. really nice. im going to piece it together for y’all now…. davy: i miss you.

10:12 PM davy: Too busy screwing sopa
 Lol
10:34 PM me: Lol
10:35 PM Can’t use google plus on iphone
 It broke or glitches
10:37 PM davy: so u got an iphone
 o
10:39 PM me: Using dads
davy: o
me: Mmhmm
davy: …
me: Gtg b back in a few min maybe
10:40 PM davy: o
11:05 PM me: Hug
 U there
11:07 PM Davy
 Davy?
11:08 PM U were there 20 min ago….
 I thoth u slept at 2
davy: …
11:09 PM mom came
 and i got bored
11:10 PM me: Of waiting?
davy: yup
me: Srry
 My dad takes forever to go to sleep
davy: o
11:11 PM so ur sneaking too……
 my mom is on her cpu
me: Lol
¬†Imma go to bed maybe but then I’ll fall asleep
davy: o
11:12 PM me: And my mom cOme any minute now
davy: o
me: O ur fac
davy: put it under ur pillow
me: Itll fall under bed
 And my dad wakes at five
 Before me
davy: in the pilowcase
me: I wake at 1
11:13 PM Lol
 Too risky
davy: put it back when everyone else is asleep
me: That would be at 4
11:14 PM davy: or put it on the ground somewhere when he comes asking
 so he thinks it dropped
me: My mom sleeps after watching a million hours of Korean drama
¬†That won’t work
 U know my dad
 KInd of
11:15 PM Reply when u parents leave lola
 Lolz
11:16 PM davy: …
me: Idk
davy: ?
 o
me: I’m cold
11:17 PM Nvr m in bed now
 Scared tho
11:19 PM davy: o
me: I would take a picture but then my dad will know
11:20 PM Idk
11:21 PM Davy
davy: delete t
11:22 PM it
 lol
me: Lol sure too dark I tried
 Hmmm
11:23 PM davy: do u have a front camera
me: Yup
davy: cuz then the screen acts as a light
me: My contacts are drying my eyes out tho
davy: mine too….
me: Lemme try.
11:24 PM B gtg mom home
11:24 PM davy: b
11:39 PM my tablets been at 185% battery for 3 hours…

 

sorry for boring the fuck out of you guys. hai snail.